When a movie about 4th richest man on Earth hit the big screen, people went to see it in droves. The movie is rated 9/10 on rotten tomatoes and while their real-life counterparts didn’t evoke any emotions from onlookers, one did end up feeling bad about the breakup of Jesse Eisenberg (cast as Mark Zuckerberg) and Andrew Garfield (cast as Eduardo Saverin).
Couldn’t it be prevented? Why did the two college buddies have such an ugly falling out? In reality Mark Zuckerberg began his company ‘The Facebook’ with the financial assistance from Eduardo Saverin. The two attended Harvard and while Zuckerberg had the wits and idea, he desperately needed financial aid that Saverin generously provided. As The Facebook began to grow exponentially, Saverin and Zuckerberg left the campus. Saverin continued his investments but took up an interning opportunity at New York while Zuckerberg left for the West Coast, looking to grow the The Facebook. Distance and lack of alignment led to a sudden ousting of Saverin less than two years after the company’s foundation. Laws suits, gossip mongering paparazzi and other people looking for revenge soon followed. Was there another way to prevent all this?
Every healthy relationship needs three things: a foundation, honesty and respect to sustain itself. Yes, you’ve known your co-founder for years and you know him/her inside out, but here’s a quick guide to safeguarding your relationship against any conflicts:
Pillar 1 – Structural Foundation: Structures that prevent conflict
1) A Founder’s Agreement: This is the bedrock structure that co-founders must curate. This is the document which specifies intellectual property rights, division of labour, accountability and ownership structures and other nuances upon which the organisations functioning and founders’ responsibilities would be curated. It should also discuss the circumstances that need to be met in order for one founder to take action towards another and what the scope of those actions can be. These conversations aren’t a preparation for the proverbial divorce. They are instead a documentation of the founders deciding what the upper limit for mistakes and consequences would be. This document would also later serve as an autopilot course to correcting mistakes and holding founders responsible, shall a troublesome situation ever arise. It should also contain clauses to discuss co-founders leaving the organisation, that too would serve as the autopilot response shall a founder later choose to walk away.
2) The Primary Role: Deciding what each founder’s primary role in the organisation would be is another structural cornerstone to prevent conflict. This helps founders create clear boundaries in operations, giving one person the final say in specific matters. It also helps bring to light the extent to which each role is or is not an equitable contributor towards the functioning of the organisation.
3) The “We Time”: Just making a pinky promise to always be honest and upfront about everything is not enough to sustain a co-founder relationship. Just like structural interventions like having glass doors, or an unseparated workspace between manager and team is required to drive home the point that synchrony is key for success, founders too need a structural component like a weekly “Founder’s Hour” specifically in place to talk about their relationship. Was there a conversation that went too far? Or an argument that still bugs you? This is your chance to bring it up, not because you’re free or because your founder seems open to listening, but because this is what the task of the meeting is!
Pillar 2: Honest Communication
1) My Goal through my Organisation: Why have you started this organisation? No, not why there’s a need for this company in the market. Why have you decided to invest in your brainchild and what do you intend to personally achieve from this chapter of your life? You and your co-founder may want the same things for the company, but different things in your life by stepping into this endeavour. For instance, one co-founder might want this to be her entrepreneurial debut into the market and see a future growth into multiple market spheres, through branching out, while another co-founder may see this as way of reforming the market for the better and see just that as an end to itself.
2) I draw my line here: It is essential to talk about what each cofounder considers the final limit. One may be too particular about timeliness, other regarding presentational skills, still another about social media presence. Understanding what ticks your co-founders is information which will help you prevent some arguments and understand your co-founders during others.
3) My values v/s Organisation’s values: It is now a well-known organisational practice to decide the core values of organisation. It however is also important to know where your personal values stand with respect to the organisational values. Each founder reflecting in this domain would help foresee problematic areas, wherein one’s values may be in conflict the organisational values. It can serve as a preventive reminder and also help in developing some mitigation measures
Pillar 3: Healthy Boundaries
1) The right vs the wrong way to talk about differences: Conversations which have a potential of becoming confrontational and personal can be easily kept in line keeping two things in mind: first, it’s about what happened. Instead of diving into the irreparable “How could you have!” take a moment to rephrase instead go with “How did this happen?” It might take a while to understand this but personal statements seldom sit well. The second way to avert a personally offensive argument is to use “I” statements – instead of saying “You’re being very careless about your duties!” saying “I have been feeling really worried about this project, and the delay is causing me a lot of distress.”
2) Your Co-founder is NOT your friend, but your friend* (*conditions apply) : Once you enter a professional relationship with someone, no matter how long you’ve known the said person and whether or not you’ve shared a friendly relationship with them, things will be different now. Friendship is a relationship dependent upon comfort. Friends help you feel better when you are low, get away from your problems where you need a breather and most of all, friends are the ones you run to when you want to vent about an annoying co-worker! Once you make the decision to get in a professional relationship with someone, it’s bedrock principles – giving honest feedback, holding your colleagues accountable and expecting performance from them – are all the exact opposite of a comfortable relationship. Even on a good day, co-founders may end up having confrontational interactions. Expecting the freedoms of friendship in a cofounder relationship can often come to bite one back. There are boundaries you need to maintain with your friend* now. While you can’t be two different people in the office as colleagues and outside as friends, the conversations you have as professionals should be limited by whether they are Necessary, Professional (a good reality check is to reflect whether you would use the same words, tone and volume with other co-workers?) and Constructive. Want to share your opinions with your partner? Is it necessary for your organisation? Is it professional? Is it constructive – will it be required for your company’s growth? If the answer to any of these is “no”, then maybe you need to talk to someone other than your friend*. Maintaining these boundaries helps make sure that the co-founder relationship doesn’t have a backlog emotional hurt but also makes sure that you’re not expecting too much from your co-founder – they now have a dual role, to be your friend and your co-founder. The former may end up taking the backseat within the walls of the office and not only that, it may also be necessary for your organisation that they do so!
Feeling like things are out of control? Your co-founder and you can’t see eye to eye regarding anything? These are the signs to know when your relationship with your co-founder is souring beyond control. Contact us here, if you’re looking to resolve co-founder conflict.
Authored by: Riti V. Srivastava
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