Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it is not unsolvable. And the solution can often be found in how we look at the problem.
Think of it like how Nike rebranded the meaning of the word impossible to ‘I’m Possible’ or ‘Impossible is nothing’. If we put our minds to it, literally nothing is impossible.
The key is not to focus on reducing the conflict but on managing it. In a way, it’s not about having less but having the right conflict. However, let’s not negate the fact that conflict can have a great impact on performance at the workplace.
But have you noticed, that most of the time conflicts come from wrong assumptions about other people’s behaviour? For example, the constant pressure to act urgently often makes us jump to quick and inaccurate conclusions. Once we’ve made assumptions based on our observation or hearsay, we quickly conclude about the other person’s behaviour or personality. Post that the argument is only about our conclusions, not the actual task or situation.
So how do we keep our own behaviour in check and have a constructive discussion with coworkers? One simple action is to ensure that our arguments and actions are based on facts and realities, not on assumptions.
We may also look at the ‘Ladder of Inference’ model coined by organizational psychologist Chris Argyris and used by Peter Senge in the book, ‘The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization’. This model basically talks about how we move from observation to a conclusion to action.
So, let’s get to it! Here are the steps in the ladder of inference:
Step 1: Observation – We observe some realities and facts.
Step 2: Assumption – Based on our prior experience, we interpret the facts and make our assumptions, which may or may not be far from reality.
Step 3: Conclusion – We draw conclusions based on our interpretation of the facts and assumptions.
Step 4: Beliefs – We develop beliefs based on our conclusions.
Step 5: Action – We take action that seems ‘right’ because that is based on what we believe. Again, it may have no connection with reality.
Imagine, two people are having a heated discussion and both are arguing based on their individual conclusions. These conclusions may be far from reality and are based on individual assumptions. Now the conversation would end up creating a lot of noise but all far from the facts and realities.
Let’s try this to untangle such a messy conversation- walk down the ladder of inference to share your observations and assumptions and invite the other person to do the same.
The fact is that conflict comes from wrong assumptions – by missing facts and reasoning. When we share our observations and assumptions and we invite others to do the same we get back to the facts and use our beliefs and experiences for positive effect, rather than allowing them to narrow our field of judgment.
Walking down the ladder of inference can lead you to get better results, based on reality. And, avoid unnecessary conflict and arguments.
Helpful Tip: Use the following questions to use the “Ladder of Inference” at any stage to keep a check on your thinking process:
Is this the “right” conclusion?
Why am I making these assumptions?
Why do I think this is the “right” thing to do?
Is this really based on all the facts?
Why do I believe that?
Next time when you feel the clouds of conflict approaching, use the ladder of inference to resolve and correct conflict at the nascent stage.
Authored by: Riti V. Srivastava
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